Hello my name is Max Elwood, I’m 12 years old and the only thing left that gives me joy is the picture of my dad beside my bed. I live in the middle of nowhere and I haven’t had real human interaction since I was 8. There’s a few things I do not do, for example, I don’t normally eat unless Emily makes Mac and Cheese and I will never call Emily's newest husband, Dad. Emily is my mom but I refuse to call her mom because a mother doesn’t allow their husband to abuse her son because of his insecurities. His name is Shane and he is the type of person you see standing outside of a gas station looking for a new “business partner”, if you know what I mean. He the definition of a “god awful person” and I hate him with every last ounce of blood running through my body right now, seriously I do not see what Emily sees in him. But I guess they are kind of right for each other you know, I mean why else would she cheat on my father with him?
My father’s name was Martin, he was the best guy in the world. His bright blue eyes made it so hard to be mad at him for taking my toys when I did something bad. I was so beyond upset when I found out he wasn’t going to be with me anymore. I couldn’t wake up every sunday morning to eat blueberry pancakes while watching the newest episode of Mickey Mouse. You wanna know what I do every sunday since he has been gone? I mark a tally on a piece of paper I have hidden under my bed, each tally represents another sunday he isn’t here, so far I have exactly 265 tallies marked on that piece of paper. He only 38 when he died. The doctors said there wasn’t anything they could do, but I didn’t believe that. So there I was, a hopeless, little eight year old with a dead father and a mother who was only with my father because she wasn’t stable on her own. It wasn’t that shocking to hear she was pregnant a few months after he died, she had to get Shane to stay somehow right? Out popped little baby Emmerson, an 8 lb 4 oz devil spawn. She had my dads bright blue eyes, but she wasn’t my dads daughter. She was Shane’s, oh how I pray for her.
Emmerson was and still isn’t something I am going to get used to. I hate it when she cries, it actually makes me so upset but at the same time she is a spawn of the worst person to ever exist so there’s not but empathy I can show. I can’t think of a time I have talked to her and not saw Shane in her eyes, and it sucks to know that she doesn’t get treated like me. It’s only me, I am the only one who get hit for being too quiet, I am the only one who gets insulted because of how little trust I have for my own family. I can’t do this anymore, I feel like my life is coming to something that isn’t what I want. I have to do something about Shane and fast. I can’t let him hurt me and it go unnoticed any longer.
I sorta feel this guilt rising inside of me and I don’t know how to handle it. I am aware that there are places that I could go to get help, but when you don’t go to school, you don’t see any of your relatives because Emily doesn’t want them to know how much of an asshole Shane is, and you live in the middle of nowhere it makes it hard to get help from anyone. I can’t call the police, I have to do this on my own, I have to know that he won’t hurt me anymore because of something that I was able to do.
He needs to feel how I am feeling, but what is a scrawny little twelve year old going to do? I don’t know yet but I am going to figure something out and fast before it’s too late, this has been going on for far too long.
A few years ago I was going through my dads old stuff that Emily has shoved in the back of her closet, I don’t know why she thinks it’s okay to forget about everything that ever happened with him. I found a large safe and I have been scared to open it. I think it’s time that I find out what’s inside that safe.
My sisters birthday has always been a night where her Emily and Shane would go out and do something, that was the night I would do it. I waited a whole five weeks until I made the move. Once I opened my moms closet, I saw that the safe wasn’t opened obviously why would it be? So I did what any other criminal would do I pressed my head up against the safe to hear the clicks so I pressed my head up against the safety hear the clicks of where the number was. It was finally open, one more step and I would be free. There was 3 fully loaded shotguns sitting inside, I couldn’t trust kill him I had to kill them all, it pains me that this is the only thing that made sense to me feel a sense of getting out.
I heard them pull into the driveway, I was trembling, first Shane, then Emily, then Emmerson. I can’t believe I actually did it
“oh.. m-y god…” I paused.
“It’s really done..” I cheered with joy, I finally felt a weight lift off my shoulders. Maybe this is something I could do this. Maybe this is my thing.
My father’s name was Martin, he was the best guy in the world. His bright blue eyes made it so hard to be mad at him for taking my toys when I did something bad. I was so beyond upset when I found out he wasn’t going to be with me anymore. I couldn’t wake up every sunday morning to eat blueberry pancakes while watching the newest episode of Mickey Mouse. You wanna know what I do every sunday since he has been gone? I mark a tally on a piece of paper I have hidden under my bed, each tally represents another sunday he isn’t here, so far I have exactly 265 tallies marked on that piece of paper. He only 38 when he died. The doctors said there wasn’t anything they could do, but I didn’t believe that. So there I was, a hopeless, little eight year old with a dead father and a mother who was only with my father because she wasn’t stable on her own. It wasn’t that shocking to hear she was pregnant a few months after he died, she had to get Shane to stay somehow right? Out popped little baby Emmerson, an 8 lb 4 oz devil spawn. She had my dads bright blue eyes, but she wasn’t my dads daughter. She was Shane’s, oh how I pray for her.
Emmerson was and still isn’t something I am going to get used to. I hate it when she cries, it actually makes me so upset but at the same time she is a spawn of the worst person to ever exist so there’s not but empathy I can show. I can’t think of a time I have talked to her and not saw Shane in her eyes, and it sucks to know that she doesn’t get treated like me. It’s only me, I am the only one who get hit for being too quiet, I am the only one who gets insulted because of how little trust I have for my own family. I can’t do this anymore, I feel like my life is coming to something that isn’t what I want. I have to do something about Shane and fast. I can’t let him hurt me and it go unnoticed any longer.
I sorta feel this guilt rising inside of me and I don’t know how to handle it. I am aware that there are places that I could go to get help, but when you don’t go to school, you don’t see any of your relatives because Emily doesn’t want them to know how much of an asshole Shane is, and you live in the middle of nowhere it makes it hard to get help from anyone. I can’t call the police, I have to do this on my own, I have to know that he won’t hurt me anymore because of something that I was able to do.
He needs to feel how I am feeling, but what is a scrawny little twelve year old going to do? I don’t know yet but I am going to figure something out and fast before it’s too late, this has been going on for far too long.
A few years ago I was going through my dads old stuff that Emily has shoved in the back of her closet, I don’t know why she thinks it’s okay to forget about everything that ever happened with him. I found a large safe and I have been scared to open it. I think it’s time that I find out what’s inside that safe.
My sisters birthday has always been a night where her Emily and Shane would go out and do something, that was the night I would do it. I waited a whole five weeks until I made the move. Once I opened my moms closet, I saw that the safe wasn’t opened obviously why would it be? So I did what any other criminal would do I pressed my head up against the safe to hear the clicks so I pressed my head up against the safety hear the clicks of where the number was. It was finally open, one more step and I would be free. There was 3 fully loaded shotguns sitting inside, I couldn’t trust kill him I had to kill them all, it pains me that this is the only thing that made sense to me feel a sense of getting out.
I heard them pull into the driveway, I was trembling, first Shane, then Emily, then Emmerson. I can’t believe I actually did it
“oh.. m-y god…” I paused.
“It’s really done..” I cheered with joy, I finally felt a weight lift off my shoulders. Maybe this is something I could do this. Maybe this is my thing.